to infinity and beyond!

I catch a lot of shit about things that I don’t believe in, agree with, or just think is not worth my time.  I get called out the most for dissing the Speed of Light, Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, and the concept of Infinity.

Not Worth My Time -- The Speed of Light: Seriously... who gives a fuck?  How does the speed of light affect my life?  Everybody’s like, “Unh, well, if, like, the sun stopped shining and stuff, we wouldn’t know for, like, eight minutes.”  Who. Gives. A. Fuck?  I think the important part of that statement is that the sun STOPPED shining.  Shouldn’t we worry about that part first? No, I do not think it takes eight minutes for the light in my light bulb to appear.  Does it take eight minutes for your light bulb to flick on?  I don’t know where you get your electricity from, but when I hit the switch, light appears. No eight minutes here.

Don’t Believe In -- Darwin’s Theory of Evolution: First off, it is a THEORY.  Do you people know what the word THEORY means?  “A supposition or a system of ideas intended to explain something, especially one based on general principles independent of the thing to be explained.”  In other words, the system of ideas did not have enough proof to become fact, so they made it a theory and now inoculate our children with it through government school systems.  For those Darwinists out there -- explain the evolution of the eye to me.  Oo, oh!  How about the Cambrian Explosion?  The only Darwinism I believe in is the Social kind, and those who buy into the “theory of evolution” with no aspect of Intelligent Design have fucked that up for me, too.

Don’t Agree With -- Concept of Infinity: Karl Pilkington (one of my personal heroes) was asked to explain this statement: “If an infinite amount of monkeys were given an infinite amount of typewriters and typed for infinity, eventually the entire works of Shakespeare would be written.”  Karl’s thoughts?  “Impossible.”  My thoughts?  Ditto.  That’s absolute bullshit.  First show me an infinite amount of monkeys, then I will consider the statement.  In the interim, infinity is another way smart people try to explain away something stupid.  The best example of infinity is Pi.  “Pi never ends!”  How do you know?  Prove it.  Every time someone calculates Pi and proves this so-called concept of infinity, they prove it by giving up.  Luh-oo-zer!  Then they’re like, “Well, that’s infinity.”  Or, better yet, they put a computer out there somewhere that will never stop calculating Pi, proving that Pi is infinite.  Well, guess what?  Eventually that computer is gonna reboot, or the sun is gonna stop shining.  Then guess what fucking happens?  It stops.  The computer loses.  Infinity wasn’t proven, and, better yet, neither was the speed of light.  Cause if it takes eight minutes to know the sun stopped shining, then the computer should have had an eight minute warning to save its work before it got fucked while trying to prove this elusive “infinity” you people keep blathering about.

HATE IT.
Math

LOVE IT!
Playing Devil's Advocate

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Ran

CURRENTLY READING:
The Nymph King by Gena Showalter.  (It's awwight... need something with more oomph, though)