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paying for friendship?

I pay this lady to be my best friend. For serious.

I go to see a therapist, typically on a Tuesday or Thursday, averaging about three times a month. I started seeing her shortly after I had W, as a preventive to postpartum depression. The pills are awesome, too, but I digress.

My therapist and I talk about a variety of things - what I like to do, what I am afraid of, what I like to eat, what my goals are, what I read, what my job entails. Me, myself, and I. I don't know a damn thing about her other than the facts that she is blond and her name is Laura. She could be more fucked up in the head than me, but it is irrelevant to our relationship. All that matters is that she lets me talk about myself for forty-five minutes, then she supplies me with some justification or enabling words, and I'm out. It's basically a form of prostitution, because I am paying another person for an extracurricular activity that I highly enjoy - talking about myself.

I am starting to think that I might be using therapy to fulfill my desires for deeper friendships. An ideal deeper friendship, at that. I don't have to listen to any of her whining about work, diets, or motherhood. In return she listens to me bitch about work, diets, and motherhood. It's liberating to know there is a person out there who knows more about me than C or my mother.

I pay for friendship, and it rocks.

On to today's list:

Going to sleep.


“Crazy Bitch" - Buckcherry

New Moon - Stephanie Meyer (I got desperate.)



  1. well you totally put a new perspective on therapy for me.

    thanks for the enlightenment. You should write a book with all of these in them. It would be a great read.

  2. Nothin wrong with a little wholesome whorin' =]

  3. Don't think that therapy is a bad thing. The opposite, in fact. Best thing ever. It just so happens that I love it so much that I alluded it can be as good as sex.

  4. sounds like the ideal relationship. Now that you are blogging dont forget about my blog. Check it out. I have lots of AWESOME contests ending tonight.